Stuff most everyone loves that I just don’t

by julie on November 30, 2012

While traveling through Uganda, we spent a lot of time in a UN van with questionable shocks and suspension, clutching our chests at every speed bump (no stoplights; speed bumps), and chatting. I learned that Jennifer has a bag like Mary Poppins, from which she produced an extraordinary variety of snacks. I learned that Jenny has a music collection that’s right up my alley. And I learned that Ilina doesn’t like Star Wars.

Ilina’s admission led to a discussion of stuff that most everyone loves that we just don’t. With all the oversharing on Twitter and Facebook and the like, we know far more about each others’ tastes and preferences than would normally be disclosed in polite conversation.

For the most part, this development is pretty cool. We’re able to discover commonalities soon into acquaintanceships without engaging in third degree interrogation. On the other hand, it can leave us feeling like oddballs. Which is why I didn’t give Ilina any garbage about her disinterest in Star Wars; instead, I started considering what others love that I just don’t get.

Mustaches. Men with facial hair have frightened me since I was a child. The mustache motif craze makes me shudder. “I mustache you a question; shave it for later” — not clever; creepy. I know Movember is for a good cause, but I’m glad tomorrow is December 1 and most of my daddy blogger friends will shave and stop scaring me.

Nail art. Any sort of manicure that involves more than two coats of a single color takes more time than I believe necessary. Don’t you have a book to read? Or a toilet to scrub?

Candles. I used to love candles. Then we had a candle in the powder room of our apartment in New Jersey. Before we moved, I spent hours scrubbing soot off the ceiling and the wall above the toilet. The family who lived in our house here burned candles in the kitchen, but did not scrub the soot off the underside of the cabinets before they moved. Candles are messy.

Ottomans/poufs. They’re all over Pinterest, but I don’t get them. More than two in a room is weird. (I picture a bunch of poufs gathered together, like a troop of mushrooms.) They’re meant to be used as footrests, but they can only be spot-cleaned. They’re about as practical as fabric-paneled walls.

Harry Potter. I know. I’ve tried. It’s just not my thing. You’d probably hate all the history and science books I adore, so let’s call it even.

Schmutzie November 30, 2012 at 9:14 am

Elf on the shelf, giant coach bags, elevator-soled hooker heels, sparkles on everything, and cilantro, which is showing up everywhere on everything. Blech.

julie November 30, 2012 at 9:30 am

How did I forget Elf on the Shelf? I don’t get that either.

Tanis the Redneck Mommy November 30, 2012 at 9:45 am

Okay, everything that Elan just said. I don’t get any of that. I also don’t get pinterest love, cakes, sparkling vampires, anything hunger games related and whipped cream in coffee drinks. Oh. And I don’t care what shade of grey it is, I don’t get it. It’s all so very very wrong.

magpie November 30, 2012 at 1:39 pm

Star Trek, Star Wars, Fifty Shades of Grey, cute shoes, underwire bras, automatic transmissions and mayonnaise.

julie December 4, 2012 at 8:40 am

I don’t get Star Trek either, though I have to admit the season (I don’t know which one and don’t much care) with Data is cool. Also, I miss having a manual transmission.

the muskrat December 3, 2012 at 1:30 pm

We’ve never owned an Elf on the Shelf, and I don’t understand how they go to popular all of a sudden.

I’m glad I could shave for you.

julie December 4, 2012 at 8:42 am

Thank you for shaving. Also for not shaving, because I know it’s a good cause.

Fairly Odd Mother December 4, 2012 at 4:40 am

Let’s see: Zumba, Paleo, chick lit, Cross Fit, Pinterest/Evernote/Springpad (probably shouldn’t admit that), tea (or—gag—chai), Coach anything, The Walking Dead, engagement rings, tattoos as a “statement”, bumper stickers, and Republicans.

(oh and my Harry Potter devotee—granted she’s 11—is hugely into Greek mythology right now, so maybe there is hope. Or she’ll someday start her own religion. . .ha!)

julie December 4, 2012 at 8:45 am

The first four on your list – me too. I love Pinterest, but Evernote crashed my laptop, and I have no time to start populating Springpads. Enough Coach. Walking what? And I’m untattooed too. (However, I do love fancy tea, my engagement rock, and my Women for Obama bumper sticker.)

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