Years ago I wrote a post called “The Whole Nine Yards on Any Given Sunday” about the prevalence of ED commercials during NFL games and how it’s tough to enjoy the game while wondering when my kids are going to ask why those people are in side-by-side bathtubs and what it means “when the moment is right.”
Now those ED commercials are on all the time, along with ads about “low T” and men’s catheters that “lubricate right in the package,” and I just want to throw the TV out the window.
But the first time I ever fielded a question about them was last night, which leads me to believe that our children are far more oblivious than we thought. (At least mine are.)
After watching a particularly cheesy ad in which a woman pretended to totally dig a local band (with only about a dozen people in the audience), Tacy asked, “What’s Cialis for?”
I looked at her curiously. “You don’t know?”
She shook her head. “What’s it for?” she persisted.
“Come here. I’ll tell you.”
She leaned in, and I quietly explained that when men get older, they have trouble getting an erection so that they can have sex. “Do you know what an erection is?” I asked.
She did not. Shows how thorough we were in our explanation of procreation.
“It’s when a man’s penis gets hard.” (I’m having more trouble writing this here than I did saying it to my daughter last night.) “Older men sometimes have trouble with that.” (I neglected to specify an age range, as I’d prefer to keep such conversations in the abstract.) “If a penis isn’t hard, it can’t go where it’s supposed to. It just, kind of, flops around.” (And then I died.)
With that, she shrieked with laughter, and I couldn’t help giggling too.
After we calmed down, I asked her, “What did you think these commercials were for?”
So there you go. Based on my one kid sample, not only do kids have no idea what those commercials are really talking about, we can also get away with telling them ED is a heart condition.